m.u.h.a.s.a.b.a.h

muhasabah diri.
Itu lebih bermakna.
bersihkan hati.
InsyaAllah lebih bahagia.

bila noktah?

Smlam sembang2 ngan izza..
pkul 3 baru tido..
bnyk benda yg disembangkan..
Izza.. izza kena ada...
ingatkan aku ttg perkara-perkara...

Tahu ni sume dugaan..
letih... :(
ntah xtau nak luah pd siape..
bila dipikir balik..
Allah slalu uji aku dgn dugaan..
kdg2 benda yg di luar jgkaan..
Ape lah dosa aku sbnrnye...
Tuhan berilah aku petunjuk...

Mungkin kehidupan aku xsama mcm org lain..
Hidup bahagia dgn keluarga..
tapi aku?
setiap hari sedih..
tp satu yg aku xsgka..
aku boleh juga senyum walaupun sedih..
aku ketawa mcm biase..
sengih-sengih mcm takde pe yg berlaku...
tp deep inside Tuhan je yg tahu..

Be happy. ok.

Aku slalu doakan..
satu kebahagiaan buat aku dan keluargaku..
Ya Allah..
terkadang terlalu berat dugaan-Mu..
Aku sorang ke di dunia ni yg punye mslh sebegini?
dah-dah!
xmo nangis lg..
penat... :(
dah la.. asal org lain happy ngan aku..
tu yg buat aku lebih bahagia..

tired..

Assalamualaikum..

Hi friends...

Em, I think I have to get out of this game...
it's ok..
I'm fine...

sad? em, of coz..

Cry.. It makes you feel better...

face the truth is better..
I've no mood..
Just write what I feel..

wake up!! wake up!! (sambil tampar2 pipi sendiri..)

okeh... (senyum x ikhlas.)
new life. new day. new hope. (I hope).

*mengeluh*..
dugaan.. dugaan..
xpe2..
Allah ada.. (pujuk diri sdiri..)

New me?...
tired....
I juz be honest.. when I type the words here..
But..
ops, no but. ok?
go go!!

Yeah.. I can do it! **mengeluh lagi** (hope buat kali terakhir.)
Huh... lega..

Smile.. make your life brighter..

~~My dreamz so far~~

Assalamualaikum...

Hi again... =)

wazzup friendz?? Aku tgh siapkan resume ni.. nk cari kerje smntara.. tetiba terfikir lak nk create post baru kat sini..

Saje letak gmbar ni.. xtau nk ltak gmbar pe.. hehe

smlm, aku janji nk gitau my dreams kan... so hr ni aku kena la kotakan janji aku.. huhu.. sori la if ada yg termenyampah lak bila baca ek.. hee.. skdar nak mengisi masa yg kosong ni aje... hihi

Firstly... my dream is I dream of driving suzuki swift!! hihi.. if dulu aku minat ngan honda jazz, tp skrg, aku dah beralih arah kat keta idaman aku neh... waah.. wpun skrg aku hnya memandu atoz yg kecik molek tu, sape tau deep inside my heart suzuki swift jd kereta pujaan aku...

Ni lah keta pujaan aku.. hehe.. cun bangat seyh.... =p

Em, stakat neh, keta ni je yg mampu aku bwk.. huhu.. ti dpt gaji kena smbung bayar lak.. skrg msih dibiayai oleh my big boss...

My second dream.... bila ade keta, mesti a ada rumah... rumah idaman aku... xdela umah yg besar mahligai tu.... tp nice house wpun kecik.. korang ingat x citer korea Full House tu?? ha, umah yg cute camtu la jd idaman aku.. yg ada taman, leh tgk view pantai dr dlam rumah.... wah, besarnye impian gue!! hihi


bukan stakat rumah dlm full house, tp a nice guy mcm rain dlm citer ni pun jd slh satu impian aku.. hihihi... bestnye dpat psgn romantik camni... (**wink wink**) ups, terlebey sudah..... heheWah, pasangan paling romantic wpun giler2.. hehe

Em, another dream of mine...... melancong ke seluruh dunia!! wah wah, xtau la akan tercapai ke x impian aku neh.... Tp aku memang kaki berjalan... suka melancong.. al maklumlah tahi lalat ada di kaki... kiki

Salah satu nye nk lawat Taj Mahal... hehe

Em, dah la kot.. nanti boring lak kan.. hehe.. tp xslah kan pasang angan2?? just nk hiburkan hati je... n bila pasang angan-angan at least otak berjalan gak kan?? hihi... Ntah bile la impian2 ni nk jd knyataan..... wpun smuanya bersifat duniawi.... hehehe...

K la.. ntah pe2 la post aku utk kali ni... okey2.. ti post yg lebih bermanfaat lg k..

K, wait for my next post... daa~~~ =)

brand new me??... =)

Assalamualaikum...

Hi friends..

Now, I'm home... It's holiday!! Alhamdulillah, bila balik kampung halaman, bolehla aku arrange balik folder2 dlm otak aku ni... biar tersusun sket.. hehe

Em, petang td, aku n farhah spent our time walking at the beach.. around 5.30 pm.. macm biase, duduk2 atas batu besar, pandang laut, jenguk langit.. best!

melayan kamera di tepi pantai.. hehe

Farhah.. teman sebicara.. hehe

pastu yg paling menarik if kat pantai ni, selain leh tenangkan jiwa kita, kita leh gak buat terapi kaki... tak caye? ha, tgk gmbar ni... ni feveret aku jgak if aku gi pantai... hehe

You must feel it! It's awesome!

It's relaxing..... really!!

Em, tadi aku baca blog izza... mcm2 kisah2 rakan-rakan aku... izza skrg tgh nk cari duit, kumpul duit bnyk2... aku lak??

Em, aku skrg... ntahla.. tgh muhasabah diri... sbb nye terlalu bnyk benda yg berlaku.. sume tu memenatkan dan memedihkan.. dan, aku sedang "renovate' urat2 saraf kat otak aku.... agar x berselirat dgn benda2 yg kurang penting dlm hidup aku..

somehow.. aku berjanji pd diri aku... utk menjadi seorang yg lebih terbuka.... aku sudah boleh terima smua kepahitan-kepahitan yg dilalui dlm hidupku.. yelah, smpai bila aku perlu hidup dlm keadaan yg mana aku rasakan seolah-olah aku ni useless girl... em, ntahla.. padahal, Tuhan ciptakan diri aku sbg seorang yg amat berharga... xternilai oleh sbrapa bnyk harta di dunia ni pun....

Mungkin aku kena lebih tough lg lpas ni.... hehe

berbalik pd kehidupan aku... skrg, aku impikan sebuah ketenangan... ketenangan mental dan fizikal.... keriangan... mcm zman kanak2 dulu.... iye, mustahil utk kmbali kpd kanak2... tp buat apa kita ingin sentiasa dirundung kesedihan sedangkan keriangan itu boleh dicipta?? kan kan??

Aku juga ada bbrp impian... wah, mungkinkah ada yg aku leh kongsi di sini?? hehehe.. xpe2, nanti aku senaraikan dulu... wait for my next post to know them... huhu.. lg pun aku dah penat ni, wpun aku ni hnya kerja TLDM (Tido Lepak Dan Makan- bak kata ijad).. hehe.. tapi, aku pun xtau mane la dtgnye pnat neh...

em, k lah.. got to go!! bye n cau!!

Lovely memories....

Assalamualaikum..

Tomorrow is my last time to enter the classrooms, see my students' face and use my voice to learn together with them..... I know that I'll be missing them so much!!

I feel so touched when their class teacher said that they can understand better in Math subject since I've been teaching them..... But, it's really hard actually to tell them that this week is my last week at that school, but I have to....

Yesterday, after class, I fetched three of my students back to their home, since it was raining heavily.... I don't know why I feel very sympathetic of them, till my mother always reminds me, "don't be over sympathize with the students.." Many of my students have family problems and most of their parents not really care of them...

On last Thursday, there was an open day at my school, and parents are required to come to school and met the class teacher, sign on the record book, and went back together with their children.. But, there were some of my students whom their parents were not coming...... What they could do was just sitting on the chair at the corner of the classroom and looked at their other friends with their parents.....

So, I asked their class teacher to look at their record books... I call all three of them, showed their record books and commented on each subject..... they were two boys and a girl... I did that because I think that I had that responsibility to keep my students going.... And I was so glad to see their face- Just looked happier than before- though nobody knew their true feelings at that time...

Maybe I'm thinking of my younger brother and sister..... When I treat my students good, I hope that their teachers will treat them good too...

I don't know how to face my last class tomorrow...... I don't want to cry in front of them.... Since I want our last time meeting is just a happy time......

sun rise =)

Hi....

Just to be honest, I feel quite calm and comfortable today after one "messy" day yesterday... Thanks God, I can wake up early in the morning, do my 'sunat' prayer and take my "sahur" meal for today's fasting.... Thanks God, He still give me this chance and I don't know how easily I woke up today though I did not have my best bed time last night.. Maybe He wants to remind me that no matter how hard my life is, He always be with me.....


After 'sahur', I continued writing my "novel" and it is almost finished! Thanks God for making my life easier, and my ideas of writing are always there.......

I hope today God will make my life easy.... I know, sometimes I'm bad girl.... Always doing mistakes though I know they're wrong... I hope today, I can be a better person..... Even it is imposibble for me to be a perfect one... :)

Beach, Life, and my heart... =)

Hi there!

I can't wait of coming back home.... It's too long since the last day I walked by the sea, 'examined' the beauty of sky and feel the fresh air at the beach...

And at this moment, I really miss all of those feelings.... It's awesome!

You know, although we always want someone by our side, sometimes it's better to be alone... I know that I'm a type of "jiwang" girl.. But there is also a side of me that can turn me to a "ganas" girl... It's not like I want to fight in a war, but sometimes I can also be a very naughty girl... How naughty I am?? Erm, you can ask any of my close friends...

Herm, I'm too tired of those feelings... The feelings which make me down and upset... Is there anything that can bright my day?? At this moment, I feel very tired of feeling sad and frustrated.... I dream of joviality which can make my lips smile and smile...and make my face as bright as sun!

Or should I just say goodby to all of those sadness and leave all of those "jiwang" thing?? I don't know how much the "percentage" of "jiwang" in me...... And I really don't realize how much that "jiwang" part conquer my mind..... I know that I'm tough girl, although those people always telling my weakness till I feel as I'm a useless girl!

But one thing..... I like me when I got my strength when I'm not.... Even it's easy to just walk on my own way and not turning back, all of those hurts will remained etched on my mind..... And I wish for happiness and I hope that there will be someone who will hold my hand and 'lift' me up until I feel like I never being in that unhappy life before......

Sabar dan Kehidupan

Assalamualaikum... dah lama aku xmenulis di sini.... xberkesempatan...

Em, hari ni mungkin aku telah buat satu keputusan dalam hidup aku... Mungkin petunjuk-petunjuk yg Allah berikan slama ini aku xberapa endahkan... Tapi hari ni, aku nekad utk membuka satu lembaran baru dalam hidupku.... Petunjuk yg paling jelas telah menguatkan hati aku.. aku nekad membuat keputusan itu.... Aku tahu, Allah ada dgn ku...


Em, skrg hobi menulis aku makin menjadi-jadi.. satu hobi yg aku rasa sgt bermakna dalam diri aku... Ntah bla aku nak submit semua novel2 hasil ciptaan ku selama ini.... Sbnarnya, aku xconfident tulisan-tulisan aku diterima.... Tp, next week adalah mgu last praktikal aku.. so bleh la aku fokus sket utk tulisan-tulisan tu... sementara tunggu utk diposting ke mana2 nanti...

Menulis memberi satu kepuasan bagi aku... mungkin ada yg kata aku ni jiwang la ape la.. tapi, entahla.. itulah diri aku sebenarnya... Dan aku tau, kekuatan aku akan hadir bersama-sama coretan-coretan aku....


K lah, stakat ni dulu..... and before that, ada yg aku nak ingatkan pada yg membaca.. juga utk peringatan diri ini... Dalam apa jua keadaan kita, sabar adalah aset yg sgt penting.. Jgn hilangkan sabar kerana sabar itulah simbol kekuatan iman..... Jgn kalah dengan perasaan.. kerana perasaan kdg2 hnya api nafsu yg selalu tewas dengan kesabaran....

Bukanlah bermakna aku seorang yg terlalu sabar, tp dugaan dan kehidupan aku mengajar aku erti kesabaran....... dan hari ini, sabar tlah menjadi teman baikku.....